Maybe.
Anyway, on to airplanes. I understand that there are certain reasons that specific things need to happen on airplanes. Like a seatbelt, for instance. If you've ever seen the first season of Lost, there was this great scene shown over and over of a plane crash, and you could really tell who was wearing a seatbelt and who wasn't.
I would even go so far as to understand why you have your tray tables and seatbacks locked and in their upright positions. No one wants to eat a face full of upholstery or Formica in the event of an ugly landing. These things are very unlikely to happen, but it makes sense that we do them if you really strain your brain.
Then there are those other commands that you have no choice but to obey because they're all caveated with FAA REGULATIONS REQUIRE, like we all carry around a copy of the aforementioned to verify whether they're pulling our leg or not, and even if they're completely making it up, those same regs say you have to obey the "flight attendants" commands, regardless of sanity. And what ever happened to stewards/esses? The reality of the situation is that soda and a snack is the primary reason that planes are staffed. Oh sure, you hear the smartly modified announcements: "Flight attendants primary functions are to ensure your safety", like they're whipping out an Allen wrench to tighten up the rivets along the superstructure; like even one percent of these attendants are flight qualified in the event that both captain and co-pilot were incapacitated; like one of these four or so underpaid attendants is going to plunge into a carotid artery in case of a rupture.
The whole thing is a placebo. It's the illusion of some critical element that really isn't doing anything.
So what's up with these other not so sensible requirements? Say for instance you want to have your window shade closed during landing because the sun is cooking you. Nope, sorry: FAA REGULATIONS REQUIRE... Why? What possible impact will a closed window shade have on the pilot (unless of course it's his window shade.)? How about the reg that says you can't have headphones on, even if they're not plugged into anything? And really, what's wrong with an electronic device that doesn't transmit, like say an MP3 player? FAA REGULATIONS REQUIRE...
I guess it could be that I'm just overly sensitive because I travel a lot. Maybe.
2 comments:
After flying for over 20+ years I agree with you 100%. The flight I just came home on had a pregnant flight attendent, oh yeah she could really handle a crowd emergency in her condition. So I will not rant as I had to teach those ridculous FAA rules. And some of them are down right dumb and useless. Take example the SAAB aircraft- they put in an extra seat 1A for more money yet it doesn't meet regulation - you are to be 36" away from the flight attendant in a crash brace position. well in this Aircraft in a brace crash position your head is in her lap. As I said don't get me going! Ever asked your pilot if ther where 3 sets of headsets as required - the only time I have seen them grab another set was when they knew FAA or NTSB is on board.
So lets place our faith in the nail file we can't carry anymore to use as a scew driver or that allen wrench the flight attendant carries in her flight bag
LUM
Aunt Patti
Jason, you are so Fight Club.
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