Another Quick Copout

Yes, I know I've given you nothing of substance in too long, and I know that you've probably already gotten 9 copies of the following email joke in your inbox from all your various "friends"... but it's too DARN funny not to share, and I'm really busy at the moment trying to get things concerning construction and renovation addressed, so here: enjoy this in the mean time! (many thanks to Ron V for the humorous emails that have kept me sane!)

Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people the world over are asking! Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening). Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q. I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q. Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A. Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q. I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto; can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A. Sure, it's only four thousand miles; take lots of water.

Q. Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A. What did your last slave die of?

Q. Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A. A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q. Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A. Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q. Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A. No, we don't stink.

Q. Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A. Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q. I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A. It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q. Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A. Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

NOW, YOU HAVE TO ADMIT... THAT WAS FUNNY!